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" Well that's no problem, take them two little buggers." Are you going to be our new daddy Danny?"Jenny looked up at me and grinned cheekily through a mouthful of cream."'Cos we'd like that wouldn't we Jimmy?"Her brother nodded his assent, but it was a serious business eating a cream bun, so he gave it his full attention and allowed his sister to continue with the interrogation."Well are you?" she demanded and jumped up onto my knee."But I'm your brother Jenny." I hugged her tightly. "So I can't be your daddy can I?"Mum was nearly choking with laughter but saved the day by telling her that we'd discuss it later, so she went back to her own seat to attack her orange juice and confided in her brother that she'd done it, I was going to be their new daddy."Well is there anyone on the horizon mum?" I asked as we walked slowly back to the hotel."No." she shook her head vehemently. "No, no, no." Was it that bad?" You can't imagine Danny," she said softly. "You just can't imagine." Ah Mr. and. Suicidal two-wheel slalom at maximum speeed seems to be another national sport. And when these idiots don’t have that two centimetre margin of safety to rocket between the bumpers of two cars, they eyeball me through their smoked visors. I’m nervous; I’ve travelled enough in a sometimes ugly world to be wary of potential hijackers. I heard that some of these vicious thugs even carry hammers, ready to smash a car window if they see easy pickings. My crazy taxi driver clearly knows all about it – he watches every one of them, and his head swivels from road to rear view mirrors all the time. When these scooters pass alongside us and pause between death defying lurches, I don’t know whether they are ogling my bare knees or my tits, or just on the lookout for something to steal. My bag is carefully hidden out of sight, but I don’t give a shit if they can see my legs. I have good legs.So we get to the shopping centre, I pay the man an indecent amount of euros plus a tip for the terror ride.
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